Michael (as waiter is describing a certain sushi roll): Is there cheese in that? LfT (after the horrified-looking waiter left our table): Oh my gosh. Michael: What? LfT: CHEESE? REALLY? Michael: I meant cream cheese! Watching me play DrawSomething: I can see I’m going to have to do all the drawing for our kids. Giving me a compliment by telling me I stand out in a crowd: You stick out like a sore thumb. But a pretty thumb. LfT: I’m so hungry. Michael: Here, you want to eat my finger? Michael: You do do that. LfT: (snickers) You said doo-doo. Michael: You do (pause) do that. I had to pause to break up the do do. Singing his own [...]

{Photo taken NYE; what a stud.} If you’re a new reader of LfT, Stuff My Husband Says is a very romantic series of posts. Or not. Basically, whenever Michael says something funny (and I’m quick enough to record it), I store it in the Notes on my iPhone. When I have a few collected, I turn them into a post. So, ladies (and possibly one or two gentleman), here’s the sixth installment of SMHS: Story: Pancho had fallen between the front and back seat in the car, which happens about once every half hour on roadtrips: Michael: Lauren, help him. He’s squinching! LfT: WHAT IS SQUINCHING. Michael: It’s a cross between squishing…and… (trails off). Playing with his new iPhone: Michael: I [...]

photo taken summer of 2007 // about a week before he proposed :) Our fourth (!!!) wedding anniversary is rapidly approaching, and I’m feeling nostalgic these days. While I have a couple of sweet (read: mushy) posts planned for this month, I thought I would go ahead and do a silly one too. Basically, whenever Michael says something funny (and I’m quick enough to record it), I store it in the Notes app on my iPhone. When I have a few collected, I turn them into a post. Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the fifth installment of SMHS. Enjoy. LfT: How’s your day? Michael: Busy. I’m running around with my head cut off. LfT: I think you mean, “running around like [...]

{photo taken in San Francisco last summer} LfT: I need a new show now that I finished Desperate Housewives on Netflix. What should I start watching? Michael: SWAMP PEOPLE. — While swimming in the lake on the 4th of July: LfT: (jumps into his arms underwater) Am I as light as a feather? Michael: Yes, this is how it would feel if we were on the moon. — LfT: (singing) A whole new wooooorld! Michael: (chimes in) …on Reading Rainboooooow! — While watching Why Did I Get Married Too, re: Janet Jackson in a particularly unflattering scene: Michael: She looks like Death has warmed upon her. LfT: What? You mean Death warmed over? Michael: Whatever. — After getting my hair [...]

Sorry I’ve been MIA this last week. Instead of making excuses, would an empty promise to try harder next week work for you guys? I thought so! Here are some funny things Michael has been saying lately. I tried to get one more out of him tonight, but he claimed he was too tired. Sometimes it’s like he DOESN’T EVEN CARE. — Michael: What kind of oven did that house have? Lauren: I have no idea. {5 minutes pass as Michael googles} Michael: It’s called a cooktop. Lauren: YOU MEAN THE STOVE? Michael: What did I say? Lauren: OVEN. Michael: Is that not the same? — Setting: We’re at a nice Italian restaurant, having crème brûlée (my favorite) and coffee. [...]

Happy Valentine’s Day y’all! Sorry for my disappearance as of late. I’ve been working long days and just discovered Monk and Desperate Housewives (don’t judge) on Netflix. After an 11 hour day in heels, sometimes collapsing with a hot cup of tea is the only thing I can do. I’ll try to be a better blogger, promise. Since love is in the air today, I thought I’d treat y’all to a few things my husband has been saying lately. Enjoy. — Pregnant friend: My stomach is so itchy! I need to use my tummy butter. Michael: Is that like real butter? — Michael: You’re like the sheep! Me: What? Michael: You know, the boy with the sheep! Me: You mean [...]

{Cutest husband ever? I think so.} Lately I’ve decided to start writing down some of the crazy and/or funny stuff Michael says. I might make this a series, or this might just be an every-once-in-awhile thing. I guess it’s up to Michael & how funny he decides to be on a regular basis. — Michael: I’m going to make you dinner on Friday! Me: What are you going to make? M: A roast! Me: Have you ever made a roast before? M: No. It will be an adventure! — Backstory: I’ve been letting my dogs lick my plate when I’m done eating & considering it a pre-rinse (we don’t have a dishwasher). Don’t worry, I wash them with lots of [...]