Lauren from Texas

On Sunday afternoon, Michael and I decided to cut our trip to Austin a little short, so we could be home for a full day on Monday before having to start work again on Tuesday. As hard as it was to leave, I’m glad we had some time to recoup (and by recoup I mean watch hours and hours of hulu in bed) before getting back to our real lives. It’s always hard to come back after a vacation, no matter how mini – but hey, we’re adults, we own a house, I guess unless we want the po-po to come, we gotta pay our dues. On second thought, that might be some good exposure for my blog – HEY DUDES! WATCH US TONIGHT ON COPS! I’ll be the one in the muumuu with a curler or two in my hair and in desperate need of a good flossing! My husband will be the one with no shirt and tattoos done during his last stint in prison! It’s good TV! 

On the drive home, we busted out Michael’s CD collection. I know I’ve blogged about my husband’s taste in music before, but indulge me again. Never have I been more acutely aware of our 7-year age difference. When I put in a burned CD that says “Groovy 80′s and 90′s” in my husband’s sharpie handwriting and I don’t know ANY of the songs, I think we have a problem. We did, however, have a moment of bonding – when “Africa” by Toto came on. Thank God for Scrubs – that show is the only reason I know any 80′s music (and the only reason this song was played at my sister’s wedding – yes, I was in charge of the playlist and I ROCKED THAT SHOW.) We also broke out this oldie-but-goodie:

Don’t judge us, interweb peoplez. WE DID IT FOR LOVE.
And maybe so we could do this dance in the car.

One thing I didn’t expect was to miss our dogs so much. Actually, I take that back. I expected to miss Pancho. Even during our gorgeous honeymoon in Manzanillo, Mexico last summer, I whimpered at least once a day, “I miss Pancho.” He’s my little sidekick. But Leia? The dog who has singlehandedly destroyed several pairs of my favorite underwear? Chewed every windowsill in our house? Wakes up at 5 am, wriggling and writhing like she is going to explode if she doesn’t get outside to pee, only to run around in circles and bark at the bushes when she does get outside? AND NOT EVEN PEE A DROP? Yeah, I missed her too.

We left our dogs at my parents’ place, 70 acres of pure doggie paradise. I recieved these texts promptly after dropping them off:

From my sister, Katherine: “Pancho is literally eating straight up horse poop.”

From my dad: “Your cow dog rolled in horse crap.” 

DELISH. Needless to say, when we pulled up to get them, as happy as we were to see them, we wanted no human-on-poop contact. We threw them in their crate in the back of the car and I skipped the bathtub and hosed them down in the backyard as soon as we got home.

Leia has this weird little cry/yelp that sounds almost human. She saves it for when she gets really, really worked up. Well, after she had her hose bath, she rolled her wet body all over the place, yelping and shrieking like a little monster baby. Pancho is more the silent, sullen type, and got his feelings pretty hurt that I didn’t snuggle him right away, so he went and hid under the bed and sulked. Look Pancho, I’m sorry that I don’t like horse poop breath, OK? Can’t we just get along? Eventually he came out and there was much rejoicing. And snuggling. And overactive bladder syndrome. 

I’ll be gone for eight days this July during my trip to Canada. As much as I will miss my husband (I think the longest we’ve been apart so far is about 4 days), there’s always iChat and PICTURE MAIL IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. But since the dogs don’t really know how to get on the Mac, I’m worried that the emotional damage of my lengthy absence might scar them forever. I’ll be lucky if Leia ever stops screeching by the time I get home. And Pancho… well, I hope he doesn’t pee on my face. 

My little sister Hannah just sent me some pictures she had taken at the end of last summer. As you can see, Leia was still quite small. I think of myself as not unlike the mother of a disturbed teenager. Sure, I want to pull my hair out, but sometimes I like to get out the baby album and remind myself of a happier time, when she was really really freaking cute. And not quite so deranged. 

Recently, our household went from 1 Mac & 2 PCs to 3 Macs, 2 iPhones, & one PC (soon to be ZERO). I got my first Mac last year in October when my work computer, an HP, finally died (after a long and ghoulish life), resurrected, and became reincarnated by Satan himself. My boss bought us all white MacBooks, and I instantly fell in love with mine – and with Mac OS. I sold my Dell laptop to my brother and vowed to never again buy another PC. Then my husband bought me a MacBook Pro, fell in love with Mac OS too (as everyone does), and bought himself a black MacBook (he’ll be selling his Dell shortly). 

All of that to say – it has been quite the challenge getting my thousands and thousands of songs and pictures transferred from the external hard drive they have been living on for the last few months to my new MBP. I am anal about organizing my files, so it’s taking a little longer than it probably should. 

Michael put all of his music and my music on my MBP, so that all the music in our household would be in the same place. Wonderful, great, fine – but when I hit the “shuffle” button on iTunes, I never know what’s going to come up. Take yesterday, for example:

Me: “Why do you have Justin Timberlake on your iTunes?”

Michael: “I used to like him. And ‘N Sync!”

Me: “So did I. SO DID EVERY TEENAGE GIRL IN AMERICA.”

(Interval)

Me: “Why do you have OPERA on your iTunes?!”

Michael: “I went through an ‘Opera Phase.’”

(Interval)

Me: “Why do you have SHERYL CROW’S ENTIRE MUSIC COLLECTION?!?!”

Michael: “I did NOT buy Sheryl Crow, EVER.”

Me: “Well I certainly didn’t. And YOU’RE the one who bought Justin Timberlake.”

Michael: “Hey, I ADMIT to buying Justin Timberlake.”

Me: “Why would you admit to Justin Timberlake and NOT Sheryl Crow?!”

(Interval)

Me: “Michael. What’s wrong with you? Who did I marry? It’s like I don’t even know who you are.”

Michael: “What just came on?”

Me: “BABY EINSTEIN.”

(Interval)

Michael (while cleaning off his Dell’s hard drive to be sold): “Babe, do you think I should leave my music on this computer?”

Me: “Why would you do that?”

Him: “You know, as an added incentive. Like, free music with purchase of computer.”

Me: “Hon, I hope you are aware that THE NORMAL AVERAGE HUMAN PERSON is NOT going to find YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC an added incentive. Just saying.”

I love my husband. I am head over heels in love with him. He smells wonderful, lets me have the last bit of ice cream, and has this great way of knowing exactly when to kiss me.

He’s just not allowed to touch the radio when we’re both in the car.