(Photo from Halloween 2012)
Remember when Bad Luck Brian was first circulating around Twitter? I was obsessed with reading his tweets out loud to Michael…who then became obsessed with trying to come up with BLB scenarios. Here are some of my favorites:
“Got a new puppy. Kujo.”
“Got a job! Enron.”
“Won a free cruise. Titanic.”
“Found a new family physician. Dr. Kevorkian.”
“Got a job as a chemist’s assistant. Meth lab.”
Marveling over my nail polish…
Me: “Wow, my nail polish hasn’t chipped yet!”
Him: “Did you put on a second coat? Don’t lie.”
On Facebook…
Him: “Can you leave so-and-so a comment for me?”
Me: “Why do you just log on and do it yourself?”
Him: “I don’t know how to get on Facebook.”
On running…and being hard of hearing…
Me: “What route should I run today?”
Him: Tells me a route to take
Me: “Is that to the park?”
Him: “Is it hard? No, it’s just two miles.”
Me: “No, TO THE PARK?”
Him: “Are there cars?”
On being paranoid…and sarcastic…
Me: “Did you lock the doors?”
Him: “Nope. Robbers are robbing our house. Everything we own is being taken.”
On bad TV…
Him: (browsing through the DVR, clearly looking for something to watch) “Hey, did you record Sister Wives?”
Me: “No, why?”
Him: “No reason.”
On compliments…
Him: “You’re a hot mess.”
Me: “Michael!”
Him: “Oh, is that not a compliment? I thought it was. Like you’re messy, but still hot.”
And more compliments…
Me: “I feel fat.”
Him: “It’s okay. Me too.”
Me: “Michael, that is not the appropriate response. Now, what do you say when your wife says she’s fat?”
Him: “Not as fat as me?”
On grooming…
Him: “I hate shaving.”
Me: “Why?”
Him: “It’s so boring.”
At Starbucks…
Him: “They put too much whipped cream on their drinks. It’s a plethora of whipped cream.”
On Desperate Housewives…
Me: “I can’t believe I’m crying over this show.”
Him: “Life is sad on Hysteria Lane.”
As we’re sitting around one evening, this happens randomly…
Him: “Have you seen me with my shirt off lately?”
Me: “Why?”
Him: “I’ve been really diligent about working out.”
And then, there are these…
Previous installments of SMHS can be found here.
Jimaie says:
bahahahaha!! “i’m down”= I’m sad is the bessssst. I love that he read it that way, Im dying!
I really want to come hang out with you guys. Like just come chill on the couch and watch some sister wives or someth-I mean what??
Lauren from Texas says:
Please do! We would have so much fun. :)
Lindsey says:
The smiley he created looks like Santa Claus to me! At least when it’s by itself. The bubble does it. Or maybe I’m as bad as he is.
Lauren from Texas says:
Lindsey, that is hilarious! I can’t really see what you mean, but I love that you see it that way.
rachieannie says:
I saw the santa too!
Lauren from Texas says:
Haha! That’s awesome.
Mary says:
“hot mess” and “not as fat as me” and “hysteria lane” !!!!!!!!! Tell him I said hey! Since he doesn’t know how to navigate the internet and all.
Lauren from Texas says:
He’s a character. He told me to tell you “I know how to navigate the internet like nobody’s business! Just not Facebook. Facebook is a completely different story.” ;-)
Chelsea says:
If that’s what “hot mess” meant, then that changes the meaning of EVERYTHING.
Lauren from Texas says:
Yeah, like all of life.
Jamie says:
this made me laugh so hard. honestly, I think that’s what keeps my relationship with my husband going: laughtr. glad you have someone you can laugh at… I mean WITH… too :)
Lauren from Texas says:
Hahaha. Laughing at, I mean WITH, someone is the best. Definitely what keeps our marriage going — with so much stress in our lives, it’s nice to break it up with laughing so hard our sides hurt.
Jamie says:
and by laughtr I meant LAUGHTER. [which looks like a really strange word now that I think about it.]
Lauren from Texas says:
laughtr seems like a hip clothing brand or perfume or something. laughtr by (insert celebrity). You may be onto something. ;-)
Molly says:
I love these posts so much.
Lauren from Texas says:
I love YOU so much!
Tabaitha says:
Haha, I’m cracking up laughing!
Lauren from Texas says:
Tabaitha, he is something else. ;-)
Caitlin says:
Okay, the hot mess one cracked me up. I think I’m going to change my view of that phrase to Michael’s version!
Lauren from Texas says:
haha! I must admit, it’s hard to go back once you’ve heard it that way. ;-)
Julia says:
My husband will send me jokes followed by the line: “I kill me!” Ah yes, it’s a joke a minute at our house!
Lauren from Texas says:
It’s nice to be married to someone you can laugh with…or at, depending on the situation. ;-)