First things first: I failed to mention in my last post that this new look would have never been possible without the creative mastermind/development wizard who is the David Stagg. His company is New American Creative, and without him, my blog would be super sad. And probably nonexistent because if I tried to do things myself I would break the Internet. Anyway, thank you, David! I owe you like 100 beers. But not all at one time.
I know I don’t need to explain my TWO MONTH+ (!?) blogging absence, but I wanted to talk a little about where I was/am with blogging, so we can all move forward. I know. Dramatic.
Shortly after I blogged about having unrealistic expectations of myself, finals happened. And then I had the longest blogging break of my life. It made me anxious not to blog, but then it would bother me that it was making me anxious. I would try to remind myself that, when it comes to this blog, I am my own boss. And I just finished a doozy of a semester. And hey, guess what? It’s okay to not document every tiny thing in life.
It felt good to sit still. It felt good to just BE…without feeling like I had to blog about just being.
The Internet gets overwhelming sometimes. I remember the easy days of blogging. Livejournal was the best. Then Xanga. Then my Blogspot. Don’t get me wrong, I love this blog the most. But in the day and age of The Blog and Pinterest, I want to yell — WHAT IS REAL?!?!? It feels like everyone does things so they can have a picture for their IG or Facebook. Or something to write about on their blog. Kids birthday parties are competitions for pins and likes. It’s getting out of hand.
I had a lot of time to think over my break. I thought about quitting blogging. I thought about quitting everything else and only blogging (who cares about the two semesters I have already spent in grad school?! Imma be the next Pioneer Woman!). I thought about deleting this blog and starting over, with a new name and a fresh face.
But here I am, same name. Slightly different face. This blog is me. I can make it work. It can be one of the fifteen balls I have in the air. It has to be. I miss it too much when I’m not here. And it makes me sad when huge chunks of my life go undocumented — like our 5th anniversary and Thanksgiving and the end of the semester and Christmas and New Years and all the little things in between.
There’s so much inspiration that comes with rest + a new look. Like a new pad of paper and a full pack of pens. I’m feeling inspired by this space again, and it feels good.
I have many roles. Wife, friend, daughter, sister. Crazy dog lady. Grad student. GA. Freelance writer and social media make-it-happen-er. I have to go grocery shopping and do homework and go to class and make copies and walk the dogs. There are never enough minutes in the day, which is why I desperately cling to my morning coffee for dear life. But this space…makes me feel whole. It gives me a purpose I don’t have anywhere else — to write, creatively, for myself and others. Not because I’m being paid or have an assignment. Just because.
I have come to the point where I have to do this for myself. I have to stop looking at stats and wondering if people love what I’m writing. I LOVE getting comments, but I can’t blog for comments. I’m at a place in life where I need this blog to be an escape, not another stressor. When I start to dwell on being “successful at blogging” (whatever that means), that’s when I lose that lovin’ feelin’ (now it’s gone, gone, gone, whoaaaaa). Not worth it.
So yes, you’re going to be seeing more posts. But they probably won’t be Pinterest-worthy. They may be riddled with errors (but the English major in me really hopes it won’t come to that). But they will be real, and they will be here, to document this amazing, ugly, incredible, chaotic, beautiful time in our lives. And the fact that you are here, reading and commenting? That is a huge perk that makes my heart very happy.