First things first: I failed to mention in my last post that this new look would have never been possible without the creative mastermind/development wizard who is the David Stagg. His company is New American Creative, and without him, my blog would be super sad. And probably nonexistent because if I tried to do things myself I would break the Internet. Anyway, thank you, David! I owe you like 100 beers. But not all at one time.
I know I don’t need to explain my TWO MONTH+ (!?) blogging absence, but I wanted to talk a little about where I was/am with blogging, so we can all move forward. I know. Dramatic.
Shortly after I blogged about having unrealistic expectations of myself, finals happened. And then I had the longest blogging break of my life. It made me anxious not to blog, but then it would bother me that it was making me anxious. I would try to remind myself that, when it comes to this blog, I am my own boss. And I just finished a doozy of a semester. And hey, guess what? It’s okay to not document every tiny thing in life.
It felt good to sit still. It felt good to just BE…without feeling like I had to blog about just being.
The Internet gets overwhelming sometimes. I remember the easy days of blogging. Livejournal was the best. Then Xanga. Then my Blogspot. Don’t get me wrong, I love this blog the most. But in the day and age of The Blog and Pinterest, I want to yell — WHAT IS REAL?!?!? It feels like everyone does things so they can have a picture for their IG or Facebook. Or something to write about on their blog. Kids birthday parties are competitions for pins and likes. It’s getting out of hand.
I had a lot of time to think over my break. I thought about quitting blogging. I thought about quitting everything else and only blogging (who cares about the two semesters I have already spent in grad school?! Imma be the next Pioneer Woman!). I thought about deleting this blog and starting over, with a new name and a fresh face.
But here I am, same name. Slightly different face. This blog is me. I can make it work. It can be one of the fifteen balls I have in the air. It has to be. I miss it too much when I’m not here. And it makes me sad when huge chunks of my life go undocumented — like our 5th anniversary and Thanksgiving and the end of the semester and Christmas and New Years and all the little things in between.
There’s so much inspiration that comes with rest + a new look. Like a new pad of paper and a full pack of pens. I’m feeling inspired by this space again, and it feels good.
I have many roles. Wife, friend, daughter, sister. Crazy dog lady. Grad student. GA. Freelance writer and social media make-it-happen-er. I have to go grocery shopping and do homework and go to class and make copies and walk the dogs. There are never enough minutes in the day, which is why I desperately cling to my morning coffee for dear life. But this space…makes me feel whole. It gives me a purpose I don’t have anywhere else — to write, creatively, for myself and others. Not because I’m being paid or have an assignment. Just because.
I have come to the point where I have to do this for myself. I have to stop looking at stats and wondering if people love what I’m writing. I LOVE getting comments, but I can’t blog for comments. I’m at a place in life where I need this blog to be an escape, not another stressor. When I start to dwell on being “successful at blogging” (whatever that means), that’s when I lose that lovin’ feelin’ (now it’s gone, gone, gone, whoaaaaa). Not worth it.
So yes, you’re going to be seeing more posts. But they probably won’t be Pinterest-worthy. They may be riddled with errors (but the English major in me really hopes it won’t come to that). But they will be real, and they will be here, to document this amazing, ugly, incredible, chaotic, beautiful time in our lives. And the fact that you are here, reading and commenting? That is a huge perk that makes my heart very happy.
Alena says:
I nodded along with so much of this. The new notebook and pens, the getting anxious about not writing and then being annoyed at being anxious about it. The whole thing.
Lauren from Texas says:
Alena – glad I’m not the only one! You’re a busy lady. I think the fact that you find time to blog at all should be applauded. Let’s agree to stop holding ourselves to such unrealistic expectations. And to always have a fresh notebook & pens close by. <3
Chrissy says:
Yes to all of this, every last word. Also: I’m glad you’re back!
Lauren from Texas says:
Thank you, Chrissy! You get me. :)
April says:
We don’t read you because you’re perfect, we read because we like you. This is your space and you should make it exactly what you want it to be at any given time. I sometimes blog about food for awhile, about my weightless struggles, about my kids non-stop, and currently about stress. No one thing is who I am, and I’m pretty sure that’s most of us.
How’s Layla?
Lauren from Texas says:
April, thank you for that reminder! I’m glad you like me, hot mess and all. ;)
Leia is doing so great! There’s still a couple things she can’t do (can’t run as far, can’t play as long), but she’s up to her old tricks and we couldn’t be more thankful. Thanks for asking; I’ll try to post an update soon!
April says:
Damn, I messed her name up! That’s what you get for not blogging for two months. Ha! Glad she’s doing well!
Lauren from Texas says:
Haha. Serves me right! ;) You are not the first person or even the 50th person who has made that mistake. You know, that was what I wanted to name her originally – after the Eric Clapton song. Michael didn’t like it, but apparently Leia (after Princess Leia, of course) was A-OK. I’ll take it.
Karen says:
I love your new look and you’ve been missed!
Lauren from Texas says:
Thank you Karen! <3
Tabaitha says:
I visited the blog yesterday but didn’t have time to comment…love the new look and more importantly that you are blogging again. Breaks are needed and if anything, it just made all of us miss you more:)
Lauren from Texas says:
Tabaitha, you are awesome. It’s people like you who keep me coming back. You make me feel like I am part of a community, and I miss it when I am gone. Thank you for that! <3
Julie Henshaw says:
Welcome back to your writing space friend ;) You still have this reader tagging along. Love, Julie
Lauren from Texas says:
Thank you, BFF. You’ve probably been reading for the longest of anyone (nearly 14 years – when did we get so old?!). Before blogs were on my radar, my writing space was that notebook we passed back and forth. The best! I love you and am thankful for your constant presence in my life.
Julie Henshaw says:
Notebooks of which I STILL HAVE! They are in my parent’s storage barn in a box with all my high school stuff in it :) I just might have to flip through some of those the next time I am in Tx just for ol’ time’s sake. Who knows, maybe a copy or two of some of those notes might make it to one of your mail boxes ;) I am equally thankful for your continued presence in my life friend!!!
Lauren from Texas says:
That would be AMAZING! Pretty sure that needs to be one of our life goals — sit around one night and read old notes and drink tea. Although it might be slightly painful to read how dorky we used to be. ;)
Kathleen says:
I laughed about the kids’ birthday thing because seriously! It’s ridic. Anyway, I think I might have shared this thought with you before, but what has helped me is to realize that I have a career, and it’s one I’m passionate about. Therefore, everything else (other than family, I’m talking about other interests) is a hobby. And hobbies are great! And important! And life-enriching, and sometimes needed to make you a better person! But it helps to think of them that way because it allows you to prioritize. I know that I’ll never be a professional blogger, no matter how cool that may be. So I make it work for me, in the fabric of my life. And then it’s a good thing.
Lauren from Texas says:
SO RIDIC. I still can’t fathom hiring a caterer or a photographer for a tiny kid’s birthday party! Or planning for like, half a year. But then again, I was the girl who planned her wedding in 4 months without the help of Pinterest, so I’m probably not one to ask. ;) To each his/her own, I suppose.
I LOVE that way of thinking, K. I remember reading the post you wrote on that very topic and nodding all the way through. I have a serious passion for grad school + counseling. It’s great to remember that, while pro blogging may seem fun and glamourous, it’s still a job, and with it comes rules and responsibility. However, when blogging stays a hobby, it can be as fun and messy and spontaneous as we want it to be. That sounds pretty great to me. :)
Meg O. says:
You don’t need to have pin-worthy posts. I like reading your writing. Sometimes we all need a break to refresh. And those that want to read will always be around.
Lauren from Texas says:
Thanks Meg! That means a lot. And omg, your latest post is amazing. THAT is a refreshing read from someone with a “Pinworthy” blog. We all have chipped nail polish and disorganized bathroom cabinets. The bravest girls are the ones who aren’t afraid to blog the mess along with the pretty. Thank you for that!
Heather says:
Hi Girl!! Glad you’re back. I 100% agree with you about the out of conrol B-day parties. I follow a blog that I might have to stop reading for that very reason. It feels like a compeition for pinterst and it’s disgusting how much $$ people spend in a 3 year old’s B-day party!
Lauren from Texas says:
Thank you Heather!I know exactly what you mean. I had to stop looking at Pinterest for awhile because I don’t need to constantly feel like I need more stuff in my life. I need LESS stuff. My birthday parties growing up were so much fun, and I hate to think that kids these days are missing out on genuine experiences just so their moms can have something pretty to pin or blog. I’m glad I’m not alone in this :)
Sensibly sassy says:
Word! I totally feel all of this!
Lauren from Texas says:
WORD, indeed. :)
Julia says:
Thank you for your honesty. I’m still figuring all this out, and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one trying to squeeze 25 hours out of the day…. In related news, once I figure it out I plan to write a book and make zillions and retire. I promise to remember those who helped me along the way…
Lauren from Texas says:
Does this mean I get a share in your zillions?!?!?
Julia says:
PS don’t get started on the birthday parties. Are just glad our daughter has friends whose parents engage in those sort of parties so she can experience them BECAUSE IT AIN’T HAPPENIN AT OUR HOUSE.
Lauren from Texas says:
Hear, hear! Our birthday parties growing up were AWESOME. We had homemade cake and played lots of games and the decorations were loud and obnoxious (you know, like kid stuff is supposed to be) and we wore whatever we wanted and my mom didn’t worry about matching us with the streamers and balloons. The best. :) I’m hoping I don’t get sucked into the vortex of Pinterest when it’s my turn.