Mom, you might want to go ahead and skip this post. You’re not going to like it, and I’m sure you’ve seen a Dateline episode that has a very similar beginning. Look away now.
Saturday, while getting ready for a date with my husband, I checked my blog stats via the WordPress app. I was surprised to see so many views, and on a Saturday, no less. I logged onto my computer to find out where they were coming from, thinking maybe The Pioneer Woman had tweeted about me or something (because it’s happened before).
Um, no. The views weren’t coming from P-Dub.
You guys, they were coming from a glasses fetish site. Yes, you read that correctly. A glasses fetish site. A site for people with a fetish for other people wearing glasses. Apparently, there is a whole technical world out there, beyond “That babe is rocking the sexy secretary look.” It has to do with thickness of the lenses, size of the frames, everything. Someone, tell me you already knew about this. Was there an episode on Strange Sex or something? Because I was totally unaware. I knew that some people find glasses extremely attractive, but I had no idea there were such specific fetishes. Someone had linked to my blog (specifically, this post) from a message board on there.
The weirdest part? Michael thought it was funny. He was all, “It should be flattering. Take it as a compliment.” I guess he thinks that guys (people?) who have this fetish are pretty harmless, since they likely never leave their basements and stay glued to marathons of the Star Wars trilogy. (Sorry, any of you who that describes. I still love you.)
So yeah, I guess you could say I’ve made it. I’m bigtime now. I had always wanted this blog to get a lot of attention one day. Except, I had hoped it would be for my honesty, my refreshing wit, or my mad writing skills. Not because I’m an overnight success on the message board of a fetish site.
And now, thanks to my combination of the words “fetish,” “Star Wars,” and “sexy secretary,” I can only imagine what kind of google results are going to show up in my stats. Oh well, whatcha gonna do? Other than considering deleting your entire blog and hiding from the internet, of course.