{via}
With temperatures on the rise, I decided weekend-before-last that it was time to pack away my winter sweaters and pull out the sundresses. And because I’m OCD and can’t be part of a project that takes me less than half a day to accomplish, of course I chose to use this as an opportunity to do some closet organizing. I don’t wear half of the items in my summer and winter wardrobe, so why keep that clothing around? I was also pretty sure that some items no longer fit, so I opted to be a real glutton for punishment and try on everything that raised the question, “I wonder if that still fits?”
After the initial sort-through, I cranked up my Journey|Toto|Foreigner Pandora station, stripped down to my skivvies, and got to work. After a short time, I had developed quite a pile of “Oof. Maybe…wait. No. Definitely does not fit. Definitely not” items.
I texted Chelsea to figure out what to do. (Chelsea is full of wisdom and never acts like I am crazy for asking her weird questions.) She, in turn, asked some very good questions, one of which was “Were you at a healthy weight when these clothes fit?”
I can say with 100% honesty, I’ve never been at an unhealthy (too thin) weight. When I was younger, I was a toothpick who ate everything in sight, never thought about it, and never gained an ounce. In college, my body began to change (i.e. grow curves) but remained pretty thin, and I still rarely worked out or limited my food intake. Getting married to a fitness geek was when I began caring about being in shape — not just for looks, but because of the way it made me feel. When these clothes fit, I was both running (couple of miles per run) and doing yoga several times per week. I was eating well, but I didn’t deny myself ice cream or wine — or anything, really. I felt great. I had my curves, but they were toned. I was healthy.
By the end of the day, the pile looked like this. I cracked open a Blue Moon to soothe the pain, vowing that it was my last non-light beer ever, or at least until these shorts fit again.
And now, I’m torn. Is this weight I’m not supposed to have? Something in me says yes. I mean, I’m busy. But I’m only going to get busier as time goes on. It’s only going to get harder to keep weight off. Do I at this point – childless and 26 – say “Eh, good enough”? Or do I take a deep breath, start using My Fitness Pal again, put down the Oreos, and get my butt to the gym? I don’t have money to buy new clothes right now, so do I throw these clothes away and wear the 5 items I have that fit? Or do I lose the weight and increase my summer wardrobe without spending a dime?
I guess my question is: At what point is it okay to have gained weight and at what point do you do something about it? Do you stay on top of it after a 5 pound gain, or do you wait until it gets to 20 and is that much harder to lose? Is it unhealthy for a diet/exercise to be at the top of the mind of someone who most people consider thin?
I’d like to get back to where I was: running, doing yoga, and eating better but allowing myself a splurge here and there. The question is, how do I accomplish that with a healthy mindset? How do I make this a lifestyle and not just a way to fit into these clothes? What would YOU do? I’m looking forward to hearing y’all’s thoughts and feelings.
Erin says:
I have never commented before – I am a very good lurker – but I have to chime in here. :) I think it’s a good idea for you to cut out the junk food you’ve been eating (except for the occasional splurge of course!) and just see what happens. Go to the gym as you’re able, focus on nurturing your body and I think you’ll be fine! At 26 your body is probably finally starting to settle at its normal/optimum adult weight. I think many of us women are far too hard on ourselves and think that the way we looked at 19 or even 23 is how we’re supposed to be, and what we’re expected to maintain. I think health, fitness and vitality should be the goal – not a size or a number on the scale. :)
Meg says:
I waited too long. 30 lbs too long. Never again.
Chrissy (The New Me) says:
I think, no matter where you are in life, regular exercise and a mostly healthy diet is never, ever a bad idea. In fact, it will help you enjoy your life more!
My advice, as far as a healthy mindset goes, is to find exercises you enjoy and do those. Eat healthy 75% of the time, and don’t sweat the other 25%. And try to go two nights a week without booze (I’m still working on this one). As far as your natural, healthy weight and shape – your body will naturally settle into that if you follow the above advice. And it might end up that you are naturally curvier than you anticipated, but that’s okay. Wonderful, even! (This is what I tell myself, mostly about the junk in my own trunk. Mostly it works.)
Finally, I think this is something that women of every shape and size and age struggle with. Good luck to all of us!
Meg says:
Granted, I’d been eating out almost every night for too long and not caring if I indulge in everything. So yeah. My fault :)
Marlena says:
My thoughts and feelings:
It isn’t about how everyone else sees you. It’s about how you feel yourself. The thinnest person can often be the most unhealthy. It isn’t about scale numbers or jean size. I weighed 108lbs in high school and I had not an ounce of muscle on me. I ate like crap, slept like crap…but I was “skinny” so no one said anything.
As an adult, it isn’t about being skinny or thin. It’s about being healthy. I say screw everyone else. If YOU feel / know that you aren’t as healthy as you could be, make the change. You’re right, life is only going to get more busy. It’s best to maintain good habits now so you don’t set future Lauren up for failure.
Heather says:
I LOVE Erin’s response. But it’s up to you. After I had Henry and Keira I was 20 pounds heavier than I am today but I didn’t mind at all. I still looked “OK” and didn’t feel overweight. I was in the healthy BMI range for my height but at the very end of that range.
Then one day I decided I wanted to get back down closer to my optimal weight so I joined WW and lost it in 2-3 months. I’ve kept it off for 7 months.
I”m not starving but I’ve just learned to eat healthier again if that makes sense? Oh and I never deprive myself!!
So my point is if you are happy than don’t fret and just enjoy life. If you decide to lose weight someday you will be able to easily. You’re tall like me girl and that’s an advantage!!!
Ashley // Our Little Apartment says:
For me, the goal is a weight/body where I don’t spend excessive time thinking about my weight/what I’m eating. It takes a lot of mental energy to constantly think about those things – I’d rather develop a mindset of exercising because it feels good and eating well because it is better for my health. Nothing about weight or muffin tops. ;)
That said, I am lighter than I have been since I was 15…and I credit that to breastfeeding and a recent bout of the flu. Ha. Not fun. ;)
I wouldn’t stress, honestly. You have a LOT on your plate – take weight worries off. But, definitely exercise and eat well (ish), since that will help with your stress, sleeping better, and blah blah.
You are absolutely GORGEOUS.
Lindsay says:
UGH! YES TO ALL! I have this issue. People view me as “so thin” however, compared to what I looked like back in the volleyball days, I feel like a cow. My only goal is to feel toned again, but every time I get close my mom tells me I look sick (which I know I don’t because I know what I weigh and I know that’s not an unhealthy weight for me). ANYWAY… I’d never give up. You need to be happy with yourself. It makes a huge difference.
Kara says:
I had the same issue – In high school I could eat what I want and not gain anything. Once I started university, I gained 10 pounds. Late-night snacking while cramming certainly contributed to that. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and realized, “Wow, I look awful.” Not that I was at an unhealthy weight. Like you, I never have been. I was just packing a little extra cushioning.
To fix it, I just starting thinking more about what and when I was eating, and started exercising a little more. Instead of eating a huge snack right before bed, I’d cut myself off at a certain hour and tough it out until morning. I think there’s a HUGE different between living a healthy lifestyle and eating/exercising to lose weight.
I could ramble on and on, but I’ll stop for now :)
San says:
I would not obsess about a number or clothes size, but think about how you feel. Every body has a natural healthy weight that it settles at when we eat healthy and exercise regularly. Fluctuating a couple of pounds is normal, too. If you make this your priority, you don’t really have to worry about losing a few pounds and you will find your adult clothes size (and maybe can then decide if you should throw out those clothes that don’t fit anymore). Then the occasional splurge is not going to be a problem either.
Jill says:
“Is it unhealthy for a diet/exercise to be at the top of the mind of someone who most people consider thin?”
To answer that – no, absolutely not. Because being healthy and exercising and watching your diet impacts far more than being thin. If I’m at a weight 5 lbs heavier than I am now, not a huge deal, clothes still *mostly* fit okay and no one considers me heavy. But my blood pressure shoots up. Like take medicine and it still be borderline. Also I feel like crap. If I exercise (I’ve been doing Barre all of this year) and watch what I eat – I feel so much better. Don’t worry about your WEIGHT – worry about how you feel. If you can come to grips with an exercise that allows you to take your mind off all the stuff you need to/have to/should be doing…then you’ll feel better too. That is why I’ve stuck with Barre–no thinking about work during class :)
Beth Anne says:
You hit right smack on what I face – do I bust my ass to work hard & get back into my size 12′s or do I go “Okay. I have a toddler & a demanding job & a crazy schedule & I’m not unhealthy, so the 14′s are going to have to work.”
Do I carve out the time & discipline to become a little better & feel better about myself, or do I enjoy my Oreos & just figure that this is the season of life? & if this is just the “season” of life, where do I cut it off – after the next baby? Or will I find myself shrugging & saying the 16′s are okay? (which they are definitely not for my figure)
I don’t know, girl. I wish I knew the answers, I wish it was as simple as some people claim it is (& it may well be for them, but for me? weight is hell & losing it is the inner circle with Satan.)
Emily says:
The answer to your questions, IMHO, is this: If your weight/body prevents you from doing something you love, it’s likely time to lose weight. If your weight/body makes you dreadfully unhappy/miserable, then perhaps weight loss is an important part of your life.
As someone who has never struggled with their weight (sorry, I’m one of those people you love to hate) I can’t really relate to your struggle. But, exercise is something that I love dearly and that keeps me sane—I would literally be a she devil if I didn’t run 3x’s a week and workout on the regular.
I think it’s about finding a happy place in your life, whatever that looks like for YOU. One size (pun maybe intended) does not fit all when it comes to our bodies, food, and exercise. Do what makes you feel good.
Amanda says:
Long time reader, first time commenter…
This is an issue I’m currently struggling with as well. Since I started law school last fall, I feel like I’ve been conducting an experiment on just how badly I can treat my body without face planting from lack of nutrition/exhaustion. I know there are so many changes I could make to make myself healthier (exercise at 6 am! pack almonds for a snack!) but even small changes are sometimes hard when we have such busy schedules. I am definitely guilty of letting exercise being the first thing to go when I get busy. It used to make me feel incredibly guilty, but I just accept that right now school is my priority and studying hard is more important to me than having Jillian Michaels’ abs. Bottom line: don’t feel too guilty, and if you’re feeling really unhealthy, make changes in your diet first because a) that has a lot more impact on your weight than exercise and b) making a salad takes a hell of a lot less time than running 4 miles. It might not be the best advice, but it’s the most efficient approach for the temporary super busy times. It’s all about what YOU feel should be prioritized.
Katherine says:
I’ve been setting obtainable workout goals, something I know won’t be hard for me to accomplish in my work week. I also have been trying to walk after dinner before it gets dark. Just a 20-30 minute walk with the dog can make you feel like such an overachiever… I ran 2 miles today AND walked my dog, lol lOve you! You’re beautiful no matter what! You know, except if you look like a whale hahaha ;)
Steph says:
Since I’ve been married, every time my clothes have started not fitting again….I’ve gotten pregnant. Then I get to wear maternity clothes until I lose the baby(and pre-pregancy!) weight.
I definitely have the worst (best?)advice of any poster here.
Amy says:
I pretty much agree with San’s comment. Rather than making the focus on what fits and what doesn’t, just try to focus on doing what makes you feel best, whether it’s eating a certain way, doing a particular type of exercise, whatever the case may be. That way your body will settle at whatever size and shape is best for you – and THEN you can figure out whether you need to go shopping! :)
hilary says:
Oh girl, I so feel you right now. I just turned twenty six also, and with the pressures of transitioning into a full time sedentary job, house responsibilities etc. I’m definitely feeling like I need to take control. I’ve always been thin too, but now I’m noticing I can’t get away with as much.
I guess my take on it is that you reach a point in life where other things need to take priority. The ability to work, earn etc is more important than maintaining my nineteen year old body. You have a husband who adores you and guys are building a life together.
For me, I’m finding dvd’s are awesome (I’m using the tracy anderson ones) cos you can do them anytime, hit pause, finish it later…. super flexible. Also finding that being super organized and planning good snacks and lunches in advance keeps the calories under control.
Other than that, I’m enjoying this new phase of my life and it means a couple of extra pounds.
My advice – don’t sweat it.
x x x
Georgina says:
I actually JUST did a post this morning on small methods I utilize to keep my weight stabilized where I’d like it.
I’ve definitely been there and wondered when things kind of creeped up, but NEVER compare yourself to anyone or go by someone elses standard.
You are a beautiful person inside and out, do what makes you happy (and in this case, saves you the most amount of stress and money)!
Have a wonderful day!
Rhona says:
First time commenter woo! I am so glad I read this post this morning and all of the comments that went with it. I’ve been struggling with this as well lately. I agree with pretty much everything everyone else said, never compare yourself to others and being healthy should be your focus. You should be happy and comfortable in your skin and if you’re not, then there’s an indication that you might need to alter something.
I am 5’9″ and was under 130 lbs up until about 22 (I’m 26 now) and then my body just started changing. I was no longer able to get by on the eat-what-you-want-and-never-workout plan. I never worried about my weight because I was always the skinny one. Trying to be comfortable with my body and how it is now has proved to be a challenge. It has shown me that maybe I should hit the gym and manage what I eat a little bit better.
Just do what makes you happy! Wish I had a fitness geek for a husband! My husband-to-be is just a video game/comics nerd :)
Kathleen says:
I agree mostly with what Chrissy had to say. Do what makes you feel good & don’t sweat it if you stray every now & then.
Right now, my pants are fitting tighter, but I know it’s because I’ve totally gotten off track & can feel it. I got back into the swing of things this week & feel so. much. better.
The thing I’ve noticed as I’m inching toward 30? I may be the same weight I was a few years ago, but it’s distributed a bit different & it’s had a huge impact on my wardrobe.
Andrea says:
First, you should know that the female body does not reach “full grown” until 26 years of age…seriously, bone density, feet, height, you’re not where you’re gonna be until you are 26 and since you just turned 26, you’ve got a little slack. So, depending on how many years you’ve had those clothes, you may have still been “growing” when they did fit and even when you remain the same height/weight, the dryer does shrink things over time. :) I say all that to say, even After you diet and exercise, if the clothes don’t fit it’s cause you’re a true grown up now and it’s okay. You can come to my house…I have plenty of big girl clothes spanning 4 sizes….
Erin says:
This has been me since 2009!! I’m finally NOT pregnant and NOT planning on being so for at least another 3 years, so it’s my goal to lose at least 30lbs. I’m short and large-chested, so most of the extra weight appears to be pretty evenly distributed, but it’s depressing to know I have plenty of clothes that are a size too small :( I WILL wear them again!!
Erin @ The Speckled Palate says:
It’s so much easier said than done. … I’m the same way, and I’m struggling majorly right now because I really like the way I feel when I’m more in shape. But I’m out of shape, which makes me feel a little roly-poly and just blah.
I’m planning out a fitness regiment for me to stick to because I have issues with that kind of stuff. And while I know I’m, like, a million years late in commenting, if you’d like to do something about accountability, let me know. I find I do a lot better when I have that..