Lucy

January 11 | Posted in IRL Friends

{Lucy and Chelsea’s son, Jansen}

One of my dearest friends, Chelsea, experienced the death of a close friend last week. Lucy, who I had met a couple of times, passed away after a very brief battle with cancer. You can read the whole story here.

Last Thursday night, I looked down at my phone and saw a text that said simply, “Lucy died today.” Immediately, it felt like my stomach dropped out of my body. Just three weeks earlier, Lucy had been diagnosed with cancer. We had all been praying that she would make a full recovery. She was young, in shape, and very healthy. Everyone was hopeful. Except, for reasons we will probably never be able to understand, she didn’t. When Lucy passed away, she had only known she was sick for eight weeks total.

It’s been so hard to know how much pain Chelsea is in and not to be able to reach out and give her a hug. I know she has a wonderful husband and excellent support system, but even still, I want to be there with her. I think it’s natural for women to vicariously undergo, in smaller ways, the experiences of their close friends. Chelsea says she feels guilty when 20 minutes pass and she doesn’t think of Lucy; I feel guilty when 20 minutes pass and I don’t think of Chelsea. You can only text How are you feeling? I love you. I’m praying for you. I’m thinking of you. Etc. so many times, but it never feels like enough. If I’m feeling this terrible, what must she and Lucy’s family be feeling?

All this feeling sad has also brought a lot of reflection. After you read Chelsea’s story about her friendship with Lucy, you’ll probably do some thinking too. Like about how life is too brief to spend it hold grudges. That the everyday things we whine and moan about really aren’t so bad, because at the end of the day, we’re all pretty healthy. That forgiveness and selflessness are more important than pride or being right.

Something else I’ve realized is how short life can be. Just because you’re 25 doesn’t mean you have all the time in the world. So really, what’s holding you back from doing what you’ve always wanted to do? From going on that trip? From visiting that special friend? From calling your parents, not because you need anything, but because you wanted to see how they were doing? You may not have 50 more years to do these things. By no means am I saying to throw caution to the wind and be foolish about decisions; however, if your whole life is spent making excuses about why you shouldn’t do things, maybe it’s time to reevaluate. Grant forgiveness. Enjoy the blessings in your life. Let others know that you love them.

I hope Lucy’s story touches some of you the way it has touched me. Tomorrow (Thursday) is her funeral, and it’s going to be an especially hard day on her loved ones. If you think of it tomorrow, please say a prayer for strength and peace to be granted to Lucy’s friends and family, and that every part of Lucy – her beautiful and sweet spirit, her caring nature, her faith in God, and her forgiving and selfless heart – will be remembered.

(And if you'd like to make a donation in Lucy's honor, please click here.)

Comments on Lucy

From Chelsea:

Is that not the most gorgeous photo you have ever seen? She was a beauty. I’ll have to get a copy of the one her parents showed me last night that made me lose it. She’s breathtaking.

Thanks for your words. Your support this week is invaluable. I love you more than you can ever know.

From abby:

Beautifully said

From lauryn:

How heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you, with Chelsea and with Lucy’s family and friends. Stories like this really do remind you to appreciate the time you have here with the ones you love. <3

From Jen:

I thought about Lucy on the way to work this morning, even though I never knew her. It puts things into perspective- how short life is, and how valuable our time with the people we love really is. Thinking about Chelsea and Lucy’s family today.

From Christine:

Thanks for the little extra shove to do the things I have been meaning to do.

From Alice Rosenhagen:

Thank you Lauren for sharing….she was a sweet young lady and will be missed more.than words can express. Thanks for “being there” for my sweet daughter….she treasures your words of comfort.