{Not my tree; it belongs to my sister. Also, The Holiday is cinematic perfection, am I right?}
For the majority of our Christmases together, I’ve been somewhat of a scrooge.
Christmas #1: We had been married about a month. We put up a tiny tree in our tiny apartment and called it good.
Christmas #2: I actually did Christmasy things that year. I got some hand-me-down decorations from family and friends and filled in the gaps with festive stuff I had purchased from Dollar General. It was our first Christmas as homeowners, so we even put lights on the outside of the house.
Christmas #3: I had just had an appendectomy. We left for a Florida vacation on Christmas Day. I put up Tiny Tree again, albeit begrudgingly.
Christmas #4: We did very little. Last minute, I threw up some decorations we found in a box. Tiny Tree emerged. I did make Christmas cookies, because I was determined to get into the Christmas spirit, but nothing came of it except my jeans getting a little tighter.
And now we’re here. Christmas #5. We still haven’t put up a tree of any size, not even Tiny Tree. My mom let us borrow (more like forced me to take it and begged me to put it up lest I become a perma-scrooge) a 6′ faux tree, and it’s still sitting sadly in the garage.
I’m envious of those of you who excitedly put up trees immediately after Thanksgiving. (Those of you who put them up before that, I’M JUDGING YOU.) I keep seeing all these lovely trees and fireplaces and overall magical settings in my Instagram and Facebook feeds, and they make me feel wistful. However, they don’t give me the Christmas Rabies. Not even the Christmas Common Cold. They serve only to make me wish I had an urge, any urge, to partake in the rapidly approaching holiday.
When I think about Christmas, I get frazzled. Family drama is blown out of proportion under the magnifying glass of the holidays. Instead of joyfully purchasing gifts, I’m stressing about budgets. And I cannot hear one more version of “Last Christmas” or I will bash in whatever unfortunate set of speakers gets stuck in the middle of me and a baseball bat.
I also blame our many moves on my lack of Yuletide cheer. Moving is difficult; why complicate things further with boxes of Christmas decorations? Unpacking and packing – something decorating for Christmas involves – is something I’ve done six times in the last four years. Thinking about cardboard boxes and tissue paper makes my eye twitch a little.
Another fault is that Michael and I have been really bad about creating our own traditions. There is always an excuse to slip effortlessly into the traditions of our families (especially since we have Christmases with both sides) in lieu of blazing our own trail. It’s easier, and definitely entails less after-Christmas clean-up.
The other night, my mom gave my sister and I both our ornaments for 2011 (she gives us ornaments every year). I was teasing that my sister’s were prettier, and she teased back, “That’s because my style is better.” My mom quickly piped in, “She doesn’t have a style! She hasn’t even put up a tree.” Now, I know my sister was just engaging in playful banter, and I know my mom was trying to defend me. But to be honest, the conversation stung a bit. I may not be the most fashionable girl in the world, but I consider myself to have some style. But they’re right – when it comes to Christmas, I am style-less. Which is kind of sad.
I don’t think this Christmas will be the turnaround for me. We will probably bust out Tiny Tree sometime this week, and that will suffice. I wonder what will be the turnaround, though. Will it be next year? When I finally feel “settled” and we’ve stayed in the same place for longer than a year? When we have a baby?
I do know, however, that Christmas is more than trees and lights and baubles. It’s more than budgets and presents and tacky sweaters. It’s a celebration of the Greatest Gift and a time to count blessings. And so, if I don’t fill my home with twinkling lights and ornaments, I can fill it will joy and thankfulness. Those might be the best Christmas decorations of all.
Comments on My Christmas spirit is busted.
From Angie:
Aw, Lauren! I know you don’t know me very well – I’m kind of a lurker – but I hear you. I’m not a Scrooge, either. In fact, I love Christmas… But getting into the Christmas spirit can be… Hard. On Thanksgiving, I put up two little crocheted snowmen and our reading Santa, with a string of plastic silver snowflakes.
Our tree JUST went up like… Maybe three days ago. It’s not decorated though. In fact, nothing else is decorated. When I was a little girl, I loved seeing everything lit up for Christmas. I loved the warmth and joy I got from the holiday.
Ever since I’ve been married, I haven’t cared about Christmas as much as I used to. Getting older? Yes, but that’s not why and I’m still a big kid. Hate Christmas? No, it’s my second favorite holiday. For me, being married, having my little family… It’s everything I want and need in life.
Christmas is still special, but every other day is full of warmth and joy and magickalness, so Christmas doesn’t seem as OMG important. I figured what’s the sense rushing and being down because everything isn’t up? I plan on making next year better, for all holidays, take my time (I’m such a last minute planner!) and relax. Decorate for FUN. Cook for FUN and celebrate… FOR FUN!
Also, I think you have epic style. <3
From trista:
I totally feel ya. Even though I managed to decorate this year (but only 1/2 of our decorations), the Christmas “season” is always more stressful than cheerful. There’s too much pressure to make it perfect!!
From Jill:
I have a bit of a hard time getting into Christmas mode, but once I put up my tree I do enjoy the coziness of it. However, I wish I were a person who decorated my mantle, my porch, etc. I just never get around to it. I too am envious of those people that put Martha to shame.
From Julie:
Living in a one bedroom apartment I definitely share your concern for the space for decorations after the season is done. Ryan and I actually had a little spat about a tree his mom wanted to give us that I wanted but ryan didn’t b/c of the storage issue. We worked it out. Also presents for our family members has taken a backseat in the holiday season. We draw names on my side so we only have to worry about one gift each and on ryan’s side we always shop together with the family to buy gifts for charity instead of exchanging with each other so the pressure in gift giving is not as severe. The worst part about Christmas to me is having to be in crowded stores. I appreciate not having to go to into them as often and snuggling up inside our cozy apartment instead. Once you are out of school and not moving multiple times a year you may have more energy to get into the crazy holiday season. Don’t stress yourself about your house; take this season to enjoy everybody else’s lights and festivities and give yourself a break!!! Christmas is not for comparing contrasting decor, gifts, etc, and people who get caught up in the compare/contrast game miss out on what the season is about and has to offer. Here’s to hoping your decor of joy and thankfulness brighten the season for you and yours!!! I wish more people thought to decorate that way this season.
From Mary:
We bought our tree yesterday, My headache kept us from being ready to put it up this morning. Decorating and shopping late can be embraced as your particular way of doing things. You should hear my children on the subject of decorating on or before Thanksgiving. They are militant. It’s part of our family’s thing. It helps identify us as a unit. Your traditions will emerge. Some are intentional and some just leap from your flesh. Christmas is so much more than what we are told it is and I think you’ve landed on the most important. Don’t let the world conform you to its expectations. In the old days, Christmas was one simple day of modest gift exchange and a lovely family dinner. Relax. It will happen.
From AmberDawn:
I don’t really want to share here how “I totally understand” or how “I’ve learned to bring in the Christmas cheer”… NO offense to anyone else!! I just want to tell you that You are Fantastic! Kicking butt in so many areas of life and wrestling through a whirlwind of a thousand new things each year! Lauren, if decorating for Christmas is too much right now, then let it be. You are spot on about what the season is really about… celebrate that! Don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t let your sisters or you mothers words get to you. I have a feeling once you start settling into a more stable world ;) Christmas decor might begin to show itself in your home.
You are loved, and you have life and you shine!
Merry Christmas sweet friend!
xoxo
Grandma
From Micaela:
It’s hard, creating your own traditions when your life is so transitory. We were in the same boat up until this year – we have a baby and a home now but haven’t really created any traditions of our own. I didn’t even send out Christmas cards because I just didn’t feel like it. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays and am excited to spend them with my baby, but I’ll have to come up with special ways to spend it with my family that feel like our own. Our extended families just take up so much of our time over the few days that my husband has off for Christmas.
From Molly:
I too get stabby when Last Christmas enters my ears
From Liz:
It’s ok, we didn’t put up a tree either and guess what? The world isn’t falling apart and more importantly–I’m still going to get presents. HAHA jk {sort of}.
And is your family blind? You are one of the most stylish people I *know*. And I love you. <3