Wednesday was my last day at the hotel. The stress of full-time grad school, coupled with a full-time job, got to be too much. My quality of life has plummeted since school started. I’m capable of doing it all, but I’m not capable of doing it without being extremely tired and cranky. I’ve been getting about 5 hours of sleep per night, and still barely scraping by as far as homework and reading. I’ve said goodbye to any form of free time, as evenings and weekends have been spent doing homework. I’ve been 100% fueled by caffeine, and feeling perpetually tired and headachy. My house is in a constant state of disarray, fridge empty due to lack of time to grocery stop, and I am afraid my ever-growing pile of laundry might eat me while I’m sleeping. So I did what I had to do: put in my two weeks and prepared to say goodbye to the most entertaining job I’ve ever had.
I started thinking about my past jobs and how they all went down in the end, and decided that quitting a job is exactly like breaking up. Thankfully, I’ve always been the one to do the heartbreaking. Here’s what they’ve looked like:
1. We grew apart. Let’s stay friends and visit each other from time to time.
2. A brief college experience. I’ll stop calling and that will take care of it…right?
3. Let’s call this what it was: a summer fling. We both knew it wasn’t going anywhere.
4. After putting in my notice: You still have to see me for two weeks. You’re really going to pretend I don’t exist? Really? Way to make things awkward.
5. Employer: Don’t go. I know this was something on the side, but I was really hoping it would turn into something. No really, don’t go. I’m better than your current job. Leave that job for me. Never mind that I can’t pay you more. I’ll make you happier. No, really. DON’T GO. (Can you tell this one reached creepy ex-boyfriend status?)
6. Employer: It’s fine that you’re leaving, but I want all my stuff back. Also, I know you gave me three years of your life, but you’re definitely not getting any teary goodbyes.
And now? The last nine months have been nuts, but in such a good way. I learned a ton and gained incredible amounts of confidence. I met and worked with the most amazing people and had so much fun, more fun than I thought was possible while working. I tried to adapt, but I just don’t have time for a full-time job right now. It’s not you, it’s me.
It’s time to start the next chapter, again. I’ll be working part-time for a media company – more on that later – and spending the better part of my days doing exactly what I need to be doing: focusing on school. I’m excited for this opportunity, but I will miss working at the hotel more than I can say. I guess that’s part of being a grown-up, making the hard decisions. Doing what’s best for my future. Even if that means giving up random wine tastings at my desk.
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Comments on Breaking up is hard to do.
From Jill:
Ugh, I’m so sorry to hear you had to leave a job that you loved! But, I know it is for the best, as it didn’t go down quite how you originally thought it would (i.e. part-time so you could do school also). Good luck with your next endeavor :)
From Marlena:
You can always have wine tastings at your home desk & pretend! ;)
From osarah:
I know that wasn’t an easy decision. Though demanding, the hotel job sounded like a lot of fun. However, grad school is incredibly demanding, so good for you for making the tough decision that is best for you, your sanity, and your health.
From Krys:
I love this. I’ve had a post in the back of my mind for months now about how jobs are like relationships and the difference between all the job-breakups I’ve had.
Decisions like this are hard but it sounds like you made the best choice for you – especially since you have a part-time job lined up (congrats!).
From Suburban Sweetheart:
Though I’m sorry to hear that you were essentially forced out of a job you loved because of time/life constraints, I’m so glad you recognized that your sanity & sleep is more important than anything else. <3
From NewYorkIsForMuggers:
Dear Lauren,
I stumbled across your blog a week ago while looking for (although it is so embarassing to say) the picture of Tracy from the Biggest Loser’s face. I started reading some of your other posts, and for some reason I couldn’t stop (sorry if this sounds too creepy). I just wanted to say that I wish you all of the best all the way out in Texas. I feel like I know you even though we live thousands of miles apart, and you seem like an awesome person. I’m sure you will be successful, and I apologize if you are emotionally scarred by the person in New York creeping on your life. My best to Michael, you and the dogs, and good luck with everything!
From wishcake:
Good for you, my dear! That is a tough lesson to learn, and I’m proud of you for making the right decision for yourself. I, too, have been there—doing way too much and then burning out. All while not making time for the things that bring me joy. I, too, had to “break up” with a job, and haven’t regretted it for a second.
You’re doing what you need to do, and that’s what matters. Here’s to more joy (and sleep!).
From Michelle Koechle:
I know it was hard but I honestly think you made the right decision. Too often we get so involved we forget to take care of our well being when in reality, it should be what’s on the forefront. You took the leap, now take some deep breaths!
From Megan:
Yes. I know too well how difficult working full-time and going to school full-time can be. (I can’t imagine grad school in that mix!) We can do it, but do we really want to? Definitely not. That’s exactly why I went to 32-hours a week … and I’m still tweaking things here and there.
So glad you made a decision that was right for you! Can’t wait to hear about the next adventure. :)