I found these roses crawling from my neighbors’ yard into mine; aren’t they lovely?
I know it’s been quiet ’round these parts lately. It’s not for lack of things to talk about. Rather, it’s that when I do get a free minute, if I’m not collapsed from exhaustion and/or dealing with a fried brain from a day full of making decisions, I don’t know where to start. I could talk about our new house and how we’re set to close on July 22nd. I could talk about how, every time I think about going back to school, I get a little bit giddy. I could talk about my (successful) new plan of action regarding fitness and health.
I am, by nature, a perfectionist. I take this role very seriously. Shoot, I’m even a perfectionist about being a perfectionist. When I sign my name to something, it had better be perfect. And that’s where I struggle here, on this blog. In the late hours of a long day, I don’t write perfection. When I only have 30 minutes to write a post, it’s not perfection. I’m not exactly sure what I think might happen if I slapped something up that wasn’t perfection – not that it hasn’t already happened before! Would the world as we know it cease to exist? Would you all judge my typos? Would no one leave a comment because it was such a yawn fest?
When it comes right down to it, none of those things would happen. Even my most boring posts get comments (God bless you all). Not once has anyone judged a typo. And the world is still spinning around, sometimes a bit faster than I would like.
Yes, I’m busier than I ever have been. Buying a house, applying for grad school, working full-time, and LIFE IN GENERAL have kept me very busy in these last few weeks. And I’m sad that, because of my perfectionism that so often cripples me and wears me out, I haven’t documented hardly any of it.
I’m inspired by those of you who write on a regular basis. I’m inspired by people who set time aside every single day for writing. Typos and all, for better or worse, you guys are my heroes.
I’m not going to make an arbitrary promise to blog more often. But I am going to take a long look at my life on a daily basis. What choices am I making that are healthy, and which ones are lazy? Which of my decisions are fueled by perfectionism? If writing is therapy (to me), why do I avoid it when I’m busy/stressed and could use it the most?
Here are my questions to myself (and anyone else who wants to throw in their $0.02): which is worse? A blog that is rarely updated but with quality posts, or a blog that is regularly updated but some of the posts are less-than-Pulitzer-Prize-worthy? Which is healthier? Allowing myself to only update when conditions are perfect, therefore limiting myself to a tiny window and crippling myself? Or, getting in there, getting my hands dirty, and hashing it out, typos and all?
Between you and me, I think I’ll take the typos.