Last Friday, while hard at work at my desk, I got a call from my dad around noon. “Can you get off early today?” he asked. “Why?” I questioned, thinking he was passing through and wanted to have dinner or something. “I went to Louisiana on Thursday and got some crawfish. We’re going to boil them tonight” was all he had to say for me to tell my coworkers I was taking off early and heading to my parents’ house.
Eating is a big deal in my family. It’s how we bond. We eat when we’re sad. We eat when we’re happy. We eat when we’re bored. We eat to celebrate. Since leaving home, eating with my family means a little more than it used to, since it’s not an everyday occasion. When we’re all together, sitting around my parents’ carved wooden table, issues and conflicts are temporarily forgotten, and we focus on the good in one another. If you told me that food has healing properties, I would believe you, because I swear there’s a magic cure deep in a bowl of my dad’s gumbo.
My dad is from Louisiana, which means we grew up thinking rice and beans with sausage was a delicacy. (For the record, my dad’s rice and beans happen to be amazing. Chelsea can attest.) The most exciting meal, however, is a crawfish boil. When I was younger, I thought crawfish were disgusting (ask my sister to tell you the story sometime, it’s one of her favorites). Then I smartened up. Now, about 2-3 times per year, we all get together and boil the heck out of some crawfish. My sisters and I go to town; our husbands have learned to move out of the way. At our last boil, we didn’t even sit down, we just ate them as fast as my dad could cook them, peeling them over a garbage can.
Crawfish are tricky to peel. There’s not very much to them (especially if you don’t suck the heads – which, for the record, I don’t), and they’re kind of like tiny lobsters crossed with a giant bug. Once you get your peeling technique down to an art, it’s easy. But it’s time-consuming and it takes a long time to feel full. Your hands get nicked with little scratches from the crawfish legs and claws. It’s messy and you’re more than likely going to end up with crawfish all over you. Eating crawfish is more about the process than the end result. It’s an experience. You have to be willing to work for a small reward, and to get beaten up in the process.
Driving home from my parents’ house on Saturday, I stopped at a gas station and bought some sunflower seeds. My mom has a sunflower seed habit, and we all tease her about it. But as I drove home that day, windows down, Zac Brown Band station on Pandora, cracking open the tiny seeds, I realized that my mom is onto something, and that eating sunflower seeds is like eating crawfish. It’s a process. Your lips get chapped from the salt and the tip of your tongue gets sore. It’s a lot of work for a small reward. But the process is enjoyable, and an excellent way to pass the time on a long roadtrip. Even if you end up with bits of shell in your teeth.
Right now, my husband is in grad school. We live in a 100+ year old house. A lot of times, there are more bills than I know what to do with. He killed a giant cockroach last night and the scary thing was, I didn’t even flinch, because it’s becoming part of the norm. Life gets messy sometimes. And sometimes I’m tempted to look straight ahead, to the end result. A better life. A degree, a career. A house without drafts and a town with actual stores. But then I have to stop and look around me. I live in a charming town and have a great job at a historic hotel. The house I live in has not one, but two screened-in porches, which is where you could find me last night until 10pm, drinking a glass of wine and soaking in the warm spring evening. Michael and I have been on two picnics in the last two weeks; we are surrounded by parks and bike trails. The other night, as we sat on the back steps and looked at the full moon, I thought to myself, this is all part of the process. It’s messy at times, but it’s a lot of fun too. So I’m not going to look at the end result, because there’s no enjoyment in that. I’m going to go on morning runs through sleepy downtown and continue to make friendships that might last a lifetime. I’m going to cherish these times alone with my husband, because it won’t be just the two of us forever.
And when I come out on the other end of this, with nicked hands and shells in my teeth, I’m going to know that I enjoyed the process. Only then can I fully appreciate the end result.
Comments on How I spent my weekend cracking open tiny shells.
From lauryn:
My only experience with crawfish was when I was younger and we’d try to catch them under the rocks at the lake where we vacationed. I’m s curious what they taste like, since at that time I had no idea people ate them!
Also, I seriously admire your perspective on life now and the future and how you’re accepting and appreciating what you have right in front of you.
From Tabaitha:
So love everything about this post.
From Chelsea:
Yes, I can attest. And I still want that recipe. DO YOU HEAR THAT DADDY FROM TEXAS???
With a husband who is deathly allergic to shellfish, crawfish boils are a thing of my past. But I love it. You’re right, it’s the process. It’s a hot summer day with a cold beer and a table of corn, potatoes, and “lobster bugs”… Makes me love life.
From DottieDags:
I like this post. I’m all about trying to find the beauty in right now moments & I’ve said all along this is an adventure for you guys. It’s the quaint and often funny times that end up meaning the most…at least to me. I’m glad you’re starting to find your place writing again. Missed you!
From Liz:
Once, with an ex boyfriend I went on a crawfish festival by boat. But I couldn’t bring myself to eat them because everyone was eating the heads and there were little crawfish corpses littered all over the ground and it just made me sad :( Lobster is a diff story though I will destroy me some Alaskan tail okaaaaaaaaay.
Miss you love you and all that jazz. <3
From katherine michael:
Hello! I’m a new follower here to your blog. You are a great writer. I often find the whole “grass is greener” mentality will rob you of they joys you can find in the now. It’s a slow lesson to learn, but has been reaping lots of good things for me. Soaking in the moment rather than constantly looking forward to the next thing.
Also, i can’t eat anything that is still in it’s original form. Lobster. Fish with the scales still on and the eyeball starring at you as you take the first bite. Pig roasts. Crab. Shrimp still in the shell when you have to rip their tiny little legs off..I don’t think I would fair well at a crawfish boil.
From Nora:
My family bonds over food too; or maybe just around the dining room table? Either way, it’s part of who we are, our culture if you will (ahem, Italian).
I love reading about stories/things like this! I can’t say that I’ve ever had crawfish/crayfish (everyone I know spells it differently). Wonder if I’d like them…
From kyla:
I’m so glad that you’re staying in the moment and focusing on the now. Sometimes it’s so frustrating and hard to, but your ideal life is an idea and living your real life to the fullest? That’s a decision you can make every moment! And with two screened in porches it sounds like it’s a beautiful moment to be taking in- messiness and all <3
From Victoria:
I absolutely love it! Great analogy, it really puts things into perspective.
From Manderz:
It’s so easy to forget, but so vitally important to enjoy the process. Thanks for the reminder!
I’ve never had a chance to try crawfish, but I certainly want to. And I’m definitely bringing along sunflower seeds on my next road trip.
From Mom:
Hey Honeybunch… I enjoyed your story, even though you told the world my dirty little habit (sunflower seeds) yet neglected to mention my mad photograhy skills, (at 7 o’clock in the morning I might add!)
Seriously, I keep telling your dad, when we’re caught in a traffic jam or the like, “You got me here with you, just enjoy the journey.” It does go by so quickly…
And just in case you don’t like your life right now, remember… Life is kinda like Texas weather- just wait a few minutes…it’ll change. Enjoy the Journey. I love you, MOM
From Mary Ellen:
We got that sunflower seed habit years ago when we were just kids. Our mom use to bring home huge bags of them and we ate them like candy! I still indulge, especially on long trips. (sunflower seed oil is good for you, haha). I have never ate crawfish and don’t think I ever will. They look like big bugs to me and I just can’t get past it.
My husband is very impatient and I am always reminding him to slow down and enjoy the moment. I have always lived my life like that, day by day, hour by hour. I do look forward to big moments throughout the year, but the days go by so fast that I try not to wish them away or hurry them up!
Love you! Aunt Mary Ellen
From Kathleen:
This is a great piece of writing. Over the weekend I was listening to that song “Just Another Day In Paradise” by Phil Vassar (know it?) and completely relating to the sentiment.
But still, you won’t ever be able to convince me that crawfish aren’t utterly disgusting.
From Melanie:
That was beautiful Lauren :) You really do have a gift. Love you!
From Katherine:
*tear! One of my favorite blogs you’ve ever done :)
From Caryn:
My family bonds around food too, for all occasions. My boyfriend is from Houston and he too says there is something special about Crawfish. But they gross me out. I must ask – Do you eat the brains too? yech. How’d you get past your childhood fear? Sometimes it is hard to just sit back and live life now instead of worrying about bills and the future, but it is important to live in the now. This made me think of Alanis’s Ironic – “Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out.”
I think this is one of your finest posts.
p.s. I Love your mom’s comment. Precious.
From Dad:
Just sitting at the airport in St. Louis reading your blog thing and thanking God that I have such an awesome daughter! Love you, will see you soon. Dad
From Mendy:
OMGosh…awesome post. One of my favs so far! I am from Louisiana and miss crawfish “bawls” with my family since my parents and older brother and sister have passed away. I just love your blog!
From Julie:
Mmmm, Your Dad’s gumbo; that is some good stuff! I’m so happy for you; that you can appreciate the things going on around you in a less than optimal situation!! And I’m glad to hear you still love your new job!!!
From jimaiemarie:
I think this is one of my favorite blog posts that I’ve ever read…it just resonated so clearly with me and the way that you wrote it was so beautiful Lauren!
Love.
I remember visiting family in Missouri when I was a kid and eating crawdads, are those the same as crawfish? If so I remember they were so good dunked in butter! I remember having such a good time catching them in the stream with little pieces of bacon tied onto fishing line :D haha!
From Brittney:
Oh you. I love you, with all your logical philosophies and adorableness. <3
From Lyndsey @ zburrows:
Amazing post my dear friend. Thanks for reminding me to stop and peel the crawfish
From abby:
I want to like it… I really do. But I am still just not really a fan. Jared is from deep east Texas, as you know, so they are always trying to shove crawfish at me. I mean, they live in my ditch!! And people look at ME weird when I don’t want to eat weird ditch lobsters??
(Also, totally feel you on the quarter life crisis… I am TOTALLY having one… prematurely, my birthday is in July)
From sarah marie p:
LOVE this post! Your screened-in porches sound just wonderful. Same goes for your family, the awesome life you’re building & your attitude!