Sometimes, things get bad – really, really bad – and you’re too busy trying to get through it to stop and figure out the real problem. You blame everything and everyone while avoiding the heart of the matter: You’re not happy. But when you think about the necessary steps to take, it exhausts you. You think, it’s impossible. You live in dread of your days but also in fear of changing what makes you crazy.
Since taking this new job, I have realized so many things about myself. Like what it takes for me to feel accomplished and alive in the course of a day. That I wasn’t meant to be an island, isolated and alone. That, when placed in the right environment, I thrive. That I am a valuable person with gifts and talents that can be used and appreciated.
I have a tendency towards depression. I’m not sure why or what I believe about it, but I do know that if I ignore it and pretend it will go away with no work on my part, it will gradually get worse. Not all at once, gradually. It will creep slowly, so slightly that I barely notice, and before I know it, it’s winning. And the fight to get back the power in my life is that much harder when it has the upper hand.
There are a lot of factors that can attribute to depression. With me, I’m realizing that when I get out of bed in the morning with a clear purpose for the day, when I take a shower and put on my makeup, when I spend my day doing something I believe in with people who feel the same way, it helps immensely. It doesn’t solve all the problems of the world, but it does help me to see things with a much clearer outlook.
My (bold) encouragement is this: If you know exactly what I’m talking about, if you are nodding your head while reading this post, then do something about it. I’m not telling you to run away from your problems; don’t leave your family in the middle of the night. But if there is a less than healthy situation in your life, don’t keep giving into it. You have the ability to climb out. Even if it’s terrifying. Even if you think, there is no alternative to this! I just have to keep plugging away and it will get better! Start looking for opportunities for change. Even if they are small. Pick up an activity you’ve always wanted to try. Sign up with a group you’ve been hesitant to join. Brush up your resume and go on an interview (or twenty). There is something out there for you. Sometimes we are supposed to stick things out, but sometimes there is absolutely no reason for us not to move on to something else. Something that will change our lives for the better.
Comments on On realization & learning.
From Cio:
I nodded my head.
Is it crazy that I came to this realization, just.YESTERDAY.
Love you, Owen.
From Suburban Sweetheart:
Amen, amen, amen, amen. Lots of love.
From Ali:
I was nodding my head the whole time.
From jen:
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!
and please, go big or go home!
From SP:
Well-written. Thank you for sharing. While my change was more reactive than proactive, once I took myself out of the negative situation it’s like a cloud lifted. I realized I didn’t have to be miserable. My terrible job had infected every other area of my life from my relationship to my free time. You never know what a huge impact a small (or big) change can make.
From Liz:
I love you & you’re amazing. We need to catch up soon, busy bee<3
From Jen:
Thank you. Sometimes what it takes is knowing that other people go through the same things you’re going through. And that if they can make it, you can, too.
From Kristina A.:
Such a great post! I have been so worried about moving across the state with my husband and with a newborn that I didn’t look at this way. I should be excited, there will be new opportunities, just have to put myself out there. Thanks :)
From Caryn:
Well stated post. Like Owen, I too just realized this this week. and while its a process that takes time sometimes to find what makes you thrive, it is better to start sooner than later. Keep up the good work Lauren.
From Samantha:
Wonderful post, Lauren. I was nodding in agreement the whole time, because I’ve felt that way all too many times. I’m glad that you’ve found something that makes you feel accomplished and alive. I once had a job that made me miserable and nearly changed who I was, and without another job in line, I finally decided to quit. It was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but it was also the best.
From zburrows:
Dear LFT,
You are the cats pajamas.
Love,
Lyndsey
From Jenn:
You are taking the thoughts right out of my head.
From JenniBug:
Preach it sister!!! Very inspirational post. So glad you are where you are now.
From Ashlee:
Love you girl. So proud of you and happy that you’re thriving! I knew you could do it!
From Kristen:
I struggle with the same problems, and did not want to seek any help for the longest time because of the social stigma towards depression. My fiance finally convinced me that life didn’t have to be so hard, that crying over nothing wasn’t doing me any good.
Today, things are much better than they were back then, there are still dark days, but overall better.
xo, Kristen
From Nora:
Awesome post.
I’m kind of where you are (or were). Sort of. I’m not making sense, but I get where you are coming from. So proud of you for getting out there and making it work :)
From Katie:
Amazing post. So true and good.
From Sensibly Sassy:
totally nodding over here. The littlest changes towards happiness can really make a huge difference.
From halfremembereddreams:
I’ve struggled with anxiety for many years. Little things make a big difference. Like when I exercise (ug).
P.S. I kinda wish the calculator said BOOBIES.
From Chrissy (The New Me):
This is a great post with great advice. I like this part best: “’m realizing that when I get out of bed in the morning with a clear purpose for the day, when I take a shower and put on my makeup, when I spend my day doing something I believe in with people who feel the same way, it helps immensely.”
I don’t struggle with depression, exactly, but I do fall into moments of wondering what I’m doing, why, and for whom. It’s easy to feel trapped in a small town when you don’t love your job. For me, stealing time back for myself is the big thing. Every day, I try to do something for me – running, yoga, writing or reading. Something that serves my interests and passions and makes me feel like a whole, alive person. If I go too many days without tending to myself, watch out!
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m skipping around your blog and reading random entries. I really love your writing style and voice. :)