I’ve never been graceful. Growing up, I was always the tall, lanky girl with too many arms & legs. I learned at a very young age which sports weren’t for me: all of them. I tried to play frisbee with my friend & her dad & got my forehead split open. And then there was the whole flag football incident. So I stuck to books & computers instead. I was never a cheerleader or volleyball player. I’m the epitome of a nerd & have no problem with that.
But my lack of grace has followed me into my adult life. I’m always bumping into things & tripping over something. I have zero depth perception. I can walk okay in a pair of heels – as long as you don’t throw any obstacles in my path.
Right after we got back from San Francisco, I was brave enough to attempt a run by myself. That was dumb on so many levels. First, this house isn’t in the greatest area for a 5’10″ blonde to be running around alone. Second, Michael was away & I didn’t take a phone – so basically, I was running around a strange area with no way to call home for help. DUMB. I ended up tripping, twisting my left ankle, & falling on my right knee {HARD} & both my hands. & open wounds on your hands & something that needs to BEND CONSTANTLY? Painful.
{Right after it happened.}
{Taken on Saturday.}
It’s almost healed now, but still doesn’t look too good. No big deal, I still have my left leg, right?
So this Saturday, we were helping do some things at the new rental, & I was exploring the premises. One of the porches comes off the master bedroom, so I went out there. I noticed a small hole in the floor, so I timidly stepped near it, to see how weak the boards were. They didn’t give, so I stepped a little closer to the hole.
WHAM. In one second, my entire left leg went through the porch, all the way up. Yes, ALL THE WAY. I was wearing jean shorts (jorts?), so I pulled my leg out, collapsed onto the porch (the non-dangerous part), & moaned for about 5 minutes. Then I surveyed the damage. A long scrape up my calve, and a HUGE scrape & bruise on my thigh, which was getting darker & more colorful by the minute. Later I saw bruises on my left arm & right knee, but the one on the thigh is really the mother of all bruises.
Please, if you’re squeamish, look away.
{Whole leg, scraped up, the same afternoon it happened.}
{Close-up of bruise, the same afternoon it happened.}
{Close-up of bruise, taken today.}
Michael is convinced that stuff like this only happens to me. I’m not arguing with him, but I do have to wonder, WHY ME? Also, I couldn’t have picked a worse time to get injured, since I’ll be spending most of this weekend in a swimsuit with my sister floating a river & hot tubbing.
In conclusion, I know I’m a klutz, but I’m not the only one stuff like this happens to, right? {Please say it isn’t so.} Also, any tips for clever swimsuit cover-ups for only one leg?
Comments on I'm more Adler than Kelly.
From lauryn:
You poor thing! That last one looks pain-ful! I’m pretty klutzy too, if it makes you feel better. My legs ALWAYS have some sort of bruise on them, mostly from bumping into coffee tables or doorways. It’s kind of ridiculous.
From Karen:
Oh my that’s a huge bruise! I always seem to bump into things and bruise easily but they tend to be small bruises, not big like yours. Ouch!
From Kari Anne:
I know what you mean… If there is a mosquito and there are 100 people…it’s going to bite me…if there is a black cat…it’s going to pass in front of my car… And if there is a hole with a snake in it (that you can’t really tell is a hole), I’m going to step in it and pull the snake out whith my foot!!! (BTW – that really did happen…at work…and it freaked me out!) I was also on my way to one of the other offices at my previous District, and I was walking through the boardroom, and a coral snake just so happen to be slithering through!!! I screamed (and everyone came running) and jumpped on the board table…gives me a chill just thinking about it…
Needless to say, you are NOT alone when it comes to these type things…i’m right there with you!
From Lauren:
Oh no, no. You are not alone. Maybe it’s a tall, blonde, Lauren thing? I get the most random injuries ALL THE TIME. I have played sports my whole life so you would think my balance would have increased and klutziness decreased. This is not the case.
In fact, I have a VERY similar looking injury. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/photo.php?pid=33533125&id=7703241&ref=album&fbid=515496538718
Embrace the bruise. It’s like a scar but tougher!
From Lauren:
Maybe that link won’t work for other people? I’m not sure how serious my facebook settings are.
From Stefanie:
OUCH Girl! You’re not alone though, I am becoming increasingly more clumsy with every passing day. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My husband and my best friend are always laughing at my mishaps.
From Amber:
I had a very, very similar indigo beauty covering my right thigh after a mountain biking accident. Did I fail to clear a log? Miss a landing? No, I went down at about 17mph on a slick pedestrian bridge in the parking lot next to the trail. All you can really do in these situations is act tough and show it off with pride!
From RootsAndRings:
I think you should show off the bruise but come up with a really cool story behind it.
From THEStephanie:
OUCH!!! I’m pretty well versed at bumping into to things that have always been there, too.
From Rach:
I bump into/fall on things too – always resulting in HUGE bruises and scrapes. And I agree with Roots and Rings – come up with some ridiculous story of how the bruise came to be!
From Nora:
OUCH.
How about a sarong? One that is longer on side than the other?
I hope that it gets better soon, you poor thing.
From Heather:
That looks so painful!! I’m a 6 foot klutz. :-)
From Valerie:
From one clumsy girl to another – beware the river! I floated the Guadalupe 3 weeks ago and my wounds still haven’t healed. The water is way up this year and the rapids are actual, fast-flowing rapids. Everyone fell out of their tubes within the first 5 minutes and slammed into rocks…except my husband who claims there is a ‘right way’ to fall off your tube so you don’t hit rocks. You poor thing – it’s the worst to have such terrible scrapes and bruises in the summer when you want to wear shorts and dresses without scaring people…I have been trying (unsuccessfully) to camouflage my wounds for the past three weeks. Also, I fear for you on that bike of yours. I came back from my honeymoon and 5 days later broke my elbow and wrist (separate arms) from a simple bike ride. If you are clumsy like me then beware!!
From Meg:
My klutziness has recently carried over into my sleeping hours. I haven’t hurt myself yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
Most recent: I have a power strip under my nightstand because I don’t have enough outlets. In my sleep, I knocked a number of things off my nightstand, including my alarm clock, which fell on the power strip, turning it off. The noise woke me up enough that I looked around and thought the power was out. I got up and found the problem, but if I hadn’t, my alarm wouldn’t have gone off, which we all know leads to a bad day.
I realize that this story makes me sound not only like a klutz, but also an idiot.
From Meghan:
What a colorful bruise! Has hubby taken out an extra large life insurance plan on you?
I share your klutziness — right as my parents’ insurance stopped covering me, I sprained my knee. Conveniently, I already owned the brace and crutches.
From saucyredhead:
One of my many nicknames is Crash so I most definitely feel your pain. If you have fair skin (I mean super pasty white) like me I found that buying a can of the Sally Hansen’s airbrush legs worked wonders for covering brusies. You can still see them but the shock value is far less :)
From Mary:
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. Girl, I could tell some stories. Like the time I walked into a light fixture that was hanging from the ceiling. And the falling while running? I have almost identical scars to the one you’re going to have on your knee. Maybe we were separated at birth!
From kelly:
my mom slipped in gravel and landed on a cactus last summer. bruising, scraping, and needles all up the side of her leg, stomach, and arm. she said she was trying to protect her iphone when she fell (instead of paying the money to replace it). i think i would have shelled out the cash instead! you definitely aren’t the only one :)
From Kt:
Ouch! I am a complete klutz too. I currently have a large black and blue on my shin that has been around for 2 weeks. Hope your stuff clears up soon!
From jill:
i thought i was clumsiest person alive, but perhaps i’ve got competition? i always have random bruises all over me from something i have tripped over, fallen into, etc. yesterday i tripped over the open dishwasher door (yeah, i know). 2 months ago i kicked the leg of our armchair and broke my pinky toe. i’ve done a whole host of other idiotic crap in between. my body is more like a warzone than a temple.
jill
From Kayleigh:
that last one looks like you got a heart tattooed on your thigh. consequently, you may have just created the hot new tattoo craze.
From Cole:
Owie! Mommy’s a big klutz, too. She can trip over *painted* lines on the floor…
From Elizabeth:
Aww, ouch! Falling hurts, sucks, and is scary. I tripped on the front porch and somehow scraped the heck out of my leg and arm even though the fall was from a squatting-ish position. That’s grace, no? ;)
I hope you’re feeling all better now!
From ohhayitskk:
Oh my gosh girl. OW. I hear you on the clumsy tip – I can barely walk in a straight line on any given day.
From osarah:
You’re not alone. Only, I didn’t realize how accident-prone I am until I got married. John now warns me to “be careful” often.
From Lyndsey:
A sarong!!!
From MelissaOklahoma:
Oh bummer! Hope you heal nice and quick – bacitracin is the key. (over the counter antibiotic ointment)
I’m a klutz too… bruises all the time.
As for being Adler – at least she’s funny! :)
From Amy:
Oww oww oww. I’m cringing in phantom bruise pain just looking at your photos. Hubby and I are really clumsy too…at least one of us falls up the stairs on a daily basis. I think clumsy people are cuter than graceful ones anyway! :)
From Suburban Sweetheart:
I ran into a table in our hotel room a few weeks ago & was so bruised that I looked abused. BE CAREFUL.
From Leslie:
Ouch ouch ouch! That bruise is SO NARLY!
From honeyforpooh:
this entry is best read to the zz top song, legs.
From E.P.:
Oh my goodness, girl! This post makes me hurt for you!
I was never the graceful girl and could never pass as a dancer, but I was able to play sports… even though I have a hard time walking in a straight line and not tripping over my own feet. So reading about these mishaps? Make me think about myself and the times I’ve had things like this.
I hope your legs are feeling better ASAP!
From Kyla Roma:
Oh yikes!! I hope you heal up quickly! I’m not a graceful one either, but at least I’m in good company :)
From steph anne:
OUCH! Don’t worry…you’re not the only one. Those kind of things ALWAYS happen to me too. I’ve learned to accept it because seriously no matter how hard I try to change that – it still happens!