Laborious.
I am really looking forward to Labor Day weekend. A) I don’t have to work on Monday, and B) we’re going camping in my parents’ new pop-up camper. Saturday we’re going to a Bluegrass Festival, and Sunday we’re going to Canton, Texas for the First Monday Trade Days. I’ve never been to this particular Bluegrass Festival (I have been to others – maybe they were in Tennessee and more specifically, maybe they were at Dolly Parton’s theme park, Dollywood, but that’s a different blog post for a different day), but if you’ve never been to First Monday Trade Days, and you live in Texas, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. OK, maybe you’re not in your sixties and you don’t like acres and acres of flea-market-style shopping. If that’s the case, you’re off the hook, I SUPPOSE. But if you’re like me and you can’t pass up the idea of buying someone else’s old crap because it’s “interesting” or “historic,” you’ve got to check it out.
I think I’m obsessed with “quotation marks.”
It’ll be a cozy little weekend: just me, Michael, my parents, and several thousand elderly people. My mom sent me an email earlier with a list of “stuff to bring” – I think she forgets that I’m “married” and used to “taking care of myself” and my “husband” – it’s funny, actually. The best part was the dialogue that ensued after the list of stuff to bring. It was too good not to document.
Note: If you’re squeamish, turn back now.
Mom:
Howdy Camping Buddies,
I haven’t checked the weather, but am hoping it will be good.
For the camping trip you will need:
Your stuff… your toiletries and other personal stuff
King sized sheets
Pillows
Blanket
TowelsALSO: any snacks or food you want to bring.
We are bringing most other stuff we will need… I think.
We’re bringing supper stuff for Sat.
(We’ll find out soon enough.)Let me know if you think of something I might have forgotten.
I’m getting excited!!!
Love,
MOM
My reply:
Do you also want to make me a list of what toiletries I should bring? Underwear? Toothpaste?
Just kidding. Love ya Mom!
Her reply:
Yeah… remember though, we’re all sleeping in one room.
Mine:
EW MOM. I KNOW THAT ALREADY. I WILL BRING REAL PAJAMAS OK AND I SUGGEST YOU DO THE SAME! None of those lacy things I know you always wear!
Hers:
Wear??? Nevermind.
Mine:
ahhhhhhh!!!!! MY HEAD HURTS!!!!!!!
Hers:
We’re gonna have fun. You’re bringing the booze, right?
I just remembered that dad gets a copy of all these on his phone. LOL
So… yeah. I’m sure my weekend will be filled with moments that will put Awkward Family Photos to shame. I’ll take notes… you know, for future blog posts.
Other random details:
-Haven’t finished Julie & Julia yet, but I WILL finish it this weekend – no ifs, ands, or BUTTS.
-I watched Junebug last night – if I had a girl crush on Amy Adams before, we’re now engaged. We’re shopping for furniture for our weekend home in New Hampshire. We have monogrammed towels and pillowcases. I’M GETTING HER NAME TATTOOED ON MY BUTT. Yeah, I love her.
-Last night, after a long day at work, I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. I was tired, grouchy, and hungry. This girl approaches me and says, IN ONE BREATH:
“Sorry to BOTHER you. I know you’re in a HURRY. I just wanted to say that you are SO. CUTE. I’m a Mary Kay consultant and I want you in my PORTFOLIO. Give me your contact information and I’ll CALL you and tell you ALL about it.”
Before I knew it, I was scribbling down my address and phone number and handing it over to her. What else was I supposed to do?! I was dilusional with hunger… and she DID call me “cute.” I’m worried though. She hasn’t called yet. Now I’m afraid she’s really an axe murderer who goes around collecting people’s numbers and then comes to their house and kills them in their sleep. Or maybe I’ll get some free lipliner! Who can know for sure?
Have a great Labor Day weekend – relax, eat, drink, be merry. Spend time with family. Watch lots of movies. Hang out by the pool. I don’t care. Do whatever makes you happy. Give yourself a freaking hug. Just don’t come back and tell me if you do anything real creepy.
xo
dude. Monday trade days sounds AAAAAAAmazing.
I’m jealous. buy me something cute. lol, JK.
You’re going to be a Mary Kay model! (I’ll do your head shots LOLZ)
Have a great weekend!
p.s. your mom sounds fun! hehe.
Cio
September 3, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Haha, thats a conversation I could have with my mom. Have a wonderful time, sounds like a very fun weekend.
mandy
September 3, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Ahhh! Those Mary Kay girls are tricky! Mine said I had great “features” and threw out something about “face model” for her portfolio.
Don’t get bamboozled! It’s just a giant Mary Kay party. And you don’t get lip liner. Just a bangle (that may or may not be stronger than tightly twisted aluminum foil).
You have been “warned.”
smile steady
September 4, 2009 at 12:00 am
IF I DO SOMETHING REALLY CREEPY, YOU KNOW YOU WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO HEAR ABOUT IT.
I would have totally given her my email address. I am paranoid now that you have been killed in your sleep. Text me and assure me you haven’t.
Erin
September 4, 2009 at 6:43 am
When you started with that Mary Kay story, I thought you were going to say the girl recognized you as Lauren from Texas! Celebrity blog sighting.
I love that your dad was getting those emails. I hope he has the same sense of humor that you and your mom possess. Have an awesome weekend…
Joe
September 4, 2009 at 7:27 am
Sounds like a fun weekend… despite the gross factor.
Kitty
September 4, 2009 at 7:29 am
Mary Kay? Really? Don’t you know that your Blog Friend 4 Ever sells Avon??? Traitor.
I thought we’ve been through this. Not everyone who wants all of your contact info and tell you that you’re cute is an axe murderer. In the 4 times that I’ve seen you, I haven’t tried to kill you once.
Chelsea
September 4, 2009 at 9:22 am
Definitely sounds like you’ll be having a lovely weekend! I demand pictures of the thousands of old people & flea market event =)
I doubt the girl is an axe murderer. If so, that’s one hell of a pick up line she has!
Nora
September 4, 2009 at 9:28 am
I’m so jealous! I’ve always wanted to go to Monday Trade Days. I’m a flea market fanatic! I’ll have to go in October and I’ll go by myself if I have to!
Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. Funny stuff!
Have a great weekend!
Cheyenne
September 4, 2009 at 10:32 am
This is totally a conversation I would have with my mother in law. She seems to think my husband and I are completely incapable, LOL. So FUNNY!
Sarah
September 4, 2009 at 11:49 am
LOVE the mama banter!
http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/ … it’s calling you!
And walking through acres of flea market, half-buzzed? Total bliss. Do you watch WEEDS? I’m having flashbacks to the “You’re Pretty” cosmetics lady … haha!
Have a blast and take lots of pics.
bblissful
September 4, 2009 at 12:06 pm
If you like Canton, then you should check out Antique Fair in Round Top/Carmine, Texas. Lots of old people. Lots of young people. Lots of small town people. Lots of big city people trying to co-exist with small town people. Good food. Great shopping. The next one is in October.
sarah
September 4, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Sounds like a blast!! One glass of wine and my Mom’s a walking party! Ah ha
Kristin
September 4, 2009 at 2:30 pm
LOL, this post cracked me up because that is the same kind of conversation my Mom and I’ve had before. She even told me she was going to do “it” with my Dad when we were all staying at a hotel. WTF!? You can guess… I had a hard time sleeping that night.
steph anne
September 4, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Ok…you are freaking funny!! I love your blogs! You crack me up! Your mom sounds like a hoot…you come by it naturally! You and your mom sound a lot like me and my mom… Must be a TEXAS thing!
I can’t wait to hear about camping! We were going to go to Crystal Beach and camp on the beach…but its going to rain all weekend…so it’s a no go!
Have a great weekend!
Kari Anne
September 4, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Camping is a blast and your mom sounds so fun so I know y’all are gonna have a good time. As for trade days we have it every month in Livingston. Its held the weekend before the 3rd Monday of each month. I love going to look around even if I don’t end up buying anything. Have a great Holiday !!!
mbowman7
September 4, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Did the girl say it just like that, with the emphasis on the words you capitalized? That’s awesome.
Kathleen
September 4, 2009 at 9:35 pm
My parents have been known to drive from Illinois to go to First Monday. It is an excellent experience.
DebbieQ
September 5, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Ok. Yesterday, your father texted my father and said you were in the hospital with food poisoning. Now, hearing it was food poisoning I knew it would not be fatal- let me just say that first. I have 2 main thoughts:
1. Oh no! My poor Lore. And,
2. I can’t wait for her to blog about it.
Love you girl. hope you’re feeling better. Sorry your weekend wasn’t what you were hoping
Erin
September 6, 2009 at 8:25 am
omg. I was just about exactly what Erin wrote in #1. and #2. …for reals.
Hope you’re fully better soon! Love ya Owen!
Cio
September 6, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Your mother sounds absolutely amazing. And she kind of sounds like my mom and what we would talk about.
I hope camping and everything went well this weekend and that you’re enjoying a day off work today!
E.P.
September 7, 2009 at 10:07 am
lol! Your mom sounds incredible- and your weekend sounds like it’s going to be brilliant! Can’t wait to hear all about it!
Kyla Roma
September 7, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Hope you had a great holiday weekend and found some fabulous finds at the flea market!
Smooches,
Sassy Chica
Sassy Chica
September 8, 2009 at 9:19 am
hahahahaha your family sounds like my family!!! hilarious
hope you had a GREAT weekend!!
Sarah
September 8, 2009 at 9:48 am